KC Currents
9:19 am
Thu October 31, 2013

The Mysterious 400-Year-Old Band That Haunts Kansas City

He Who Bought The Farm would not publicly reveal himself at KCUR. He says he has no head, and wouldn't explain what holds up the hood.
He Who Bought The Farm would not publicly reveal himself at KCUR. He says he has no head, and wouldn't explain what holds up the hood.
Credit Sylvia Maria Gross / KCUR

Almost every year around this time in Kansas City, a musical phenomenon rises up at area bars. A mysterious band called the Haunted Creepys tends to perform around Halloween, and whenever Friday the 13th rolls around. 

The Creepys wear colorful robes and hoods with black netting covering their faces, and they claim to be a 400-year-old band of undead musicians from Transylvania who play original numbers such as Phantom of the Pipeline, Skiffle Haunt and Hairy Tomato.

“Generally we consider it to be high-energy rock ‘n’ roll from beyond the grave,” says the band’s lead singer and organ player He Who Bought The Farm. “Although we venture into some side genres, a bit of country . . . perhaps the occasional taste of what you mortals call jazz music, when we do Artie Shaw’s Nightmare.”

He Who Bought The Farm materialized at KCUR this week for an interview, but would not otherwise reveal himself publicly. His band mates are Goulach Wormwood on drums, Vladimir Hambone on lead guitar and Sausage Von Devilhorse on bass.

The first report of a local Haunted Creepys appearance in the Kansas City area dates back to 1995. There seems to be some kind of connection between the Haunted Creepys and the local “human” bands The Buddy Lush Phenomenon, Cretin 66 and Plaid Iris. But He Who Bought The Farm dismisses these connections as ludicrous rumors.

He Who Bought The Farm says there’s no set time for upcoming performances, but he warns that there is a Friday the 13th coming up in December.

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