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Here Are The Prophetic Lyrics To Viral 'Royals' Parody Song

Aaron Lage

Among the many non-team winners of the Kansas City Royals' improbable World Series run are Kansas City musician John Long and his friend Aaron Lage, who created what's now known by 243,290 (and counting) YouTube viewers as simply "Lorde - 'Royals' Parody|Kansas City 'Royals.'"

Long, a graduate of Lee's Summit West High School, came home from college at Springfield's Evangel University in January to shoot the video with a college friend who is majoring in film. The bleak Kansas City winter scenery makes the lyrics seem eerily prophetic — at that time of year, a victorious Royals season could have only been a true-fan's spring dream.

Long said he was stoked after seeing the lyrics written by his friend Lage, who heard the Australian pop celebrity Lorde's "Royals" in the grocery store.

Lage, who before this season was only a "casual" Royals fan, is on staff at the World Revival Church in southeast Kansas City and likes to write lyrics as a hobby. He says it took him about 45 minutes to write the "Royals" parody lyrics.

"Some of it was trying to parody Lorde herself," Lage says. "Her song is a critique of modern culture, everybody trying to be something they aren't. And the same thing applies to these big teams, like the Yankees with their big salaries. Knowing the Royals are the exact opposite of that, it's sort of a double parody."

Long, who has always been a Royals fan and was feeling optimistic about the season, says Lage's lyrics gave him faith in the team -- and he says it was an honor to spread that feeling.

"It got the fans pumped, in a mood to cheer like they hadn't done before," Long says. 

And now, with the team crediting fan enthusiasm for fueling its success, the lyrics (reprinted here with Lage's permission) seem even more prophetic:

"Royals" Parody

A baseball diamond green and fresh
I cut my teeth on series rings in the 80s
I'm quite proud of my address
In a crazy town, Kansas City
But every year it's like bullpens, dugouts, swingin' for the fences
Homeruns, strikeouts, trashin' the opponents
We don't care, we're driving homers in our dreams
But everybody's like, Cardinals, Red Sox, what about the Yankees
Mets, Braves, Marlins, Tigers and the Phillies
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair

[Chorus]
Cuz you'll never beat the Royals
It don't run in your blood
That kind of loss just ain't for us
We create a different kind of buzz.
We will be your rulers
Kings of the MLB
And baby we'll rule, we'll rule, we'll rule, we'll rule
It's not just a fantasy

The fans and I - we've cracked the code
We count our wins on the plane from your city
And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this
We've only come for glory

But every year it's like bullpens, dugouts, swingin' for the fences
Homeruns, strikeouts, trashin' the opponents
We don't care, we're driving homers in our dreams
But everybody's like, Cardinals, Red Sox, what about the Yankees
Mets, Braves, Marlins, Tigers and the Phillies
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair

Cuz you'll never beat the Royals
It don't run in your blood
That kind of loss just ain't for us
We create a different kind of buzz.
We will be your rulers
Kings of the MLB
And baby we'll rule, we'll rule, we'll rule, we'll rule
It's not just a fantasy

Ooh ooh oh
We're even better than we dreamed
We'll beat every other team
Ooh ooh oh Life is great at 'The K'
Winning every single game.

Copyright © 2014

"It's quite funny," Lage says. "I've already got people on Facebook asking me to write a song for the Chiefs, and even had one (person) ask me to write a song about them being a billionaire. Apparently folks do think it's prophetic!"

Before the song blew up on YouTube and led to his appearances in the local media, Long said he'd performed at weddings and coffeehouses. Even though he's still developing as a musician, Long says he's trying to capitalize on all of the traffic to his YouTube page. He says he hopes to have a new song posted there by the end of this week.

"It's a mashup of two songs — Michael Buble's 'Feeling Good' with a techno song people will know," he says.

A free press is among our country’s founding principles and most precious resources. As director of content-journalism at KCUR, I want everyone in our part of America to know we see them and we’re listening. I work to make sure the stories we tell and the conversations we convene reflect our complex realities, informing and inspiring all of us to meet the profound challenges of our time. Email me at cj@kcur.org.
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