Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

Saturday, 12 p.m.

For a wacky and whip-smart approach to the week's news and newsmakers, listen no further than Wait, Wait... Don't Tell Me, the oddly informative news quiz from NPR.

During each fast-paced, irreverent show, host Peter Sagal leads what might be characterized as the news Olympics.  Callers, panelists, and guests compete by answering questions about the week's events, identifying impersonations, filling in the blanks at lightening speed, sniffing out fake news items and deciphering limericks.

Listeners vie for a chance to win the most coveted prize in radio: having official judge and scorekeeper Carl Kasell record the outgoing message on their home answering machine.

You can find out more about the program on their website.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:38 am
Sat March 1, 2014

Real Science Or Sci-Fi?

Originally published on Sat March 1, 2014 11:03 am

Our panelists answer questions about things that seem like science fiction but are actually science nonfiction. (This segment originally aired on Sept. 1, 2012.)

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:38 am
Sat March 1, 2014

Wait Wait Goes To IKEA

Originally published on Sat March 1, 2014 11:03 am

Some of our favorite trips to the land of Lingonberries and Fjornholm shelves. (This segment originally aired on Sept. 1, 2012.)

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:14 am
Sat March 1, 2014

Gass And Black Of Tenacious D Play Not My Job

Originally published on Tue March 4, 2014 12:56 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We've interviewed a lot of musicians on this show, but recently we got a chance to interview the greatest rock band ever in all of history. That would be Tenacious D, also known as actor Jack Black and his friend Kyle Gass.

CARL KASELL: We were joined by Brian Babylon, Charlie Pierce, and Roxanne Roberts and we began with Jack Black trying to describe what their music is all about.

JACK BLACK: Well, it's been said that we're a combination of Black Sabbath and who's the other band, Kage?

KYLE GASS: Uh...

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:14 am
Sat March 1, 2014

Director Barry Sonnenfeld Plays Not My Job

Originally published on Tue March 4, 2014 12:56 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

When you think of successful movie directors, you think of people like the guy in Fellini's movie "Eight and a Half": confident, half-dictator, half-philosopher, half-womanizer.

CARL KASELL: That's three halves.

SAGAL: Don't quibble. So we were surprised and delighted to talk to Barry Sonnenfeld, director of such huge Hollywood movies as the "Men in Black" films and "Get Shorty." Turns out he's just as odd and nervous as we are.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:14 am
Sat March 1, 2014

Former Yankees Pitcher Jim Bouton Plays Not My Job

Originally published on Tue March 4, 2014 12:55 pm

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WEB Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. And here's your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Carl. Oh, thank you everybody. Thank you everybody, great to see you. Listen, like a lot of people we have finally cracked after months of the polar vortex and blizzards and snow. We have cabin fever, seasonal affective ditorder, rickets.

KASELL: I have scurvy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I just spit out a tooth.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:43 am
Sat February 22, 2014

Prediction

Originally published on Sat February 22, 2014 11:03 am

Our panelists predict how organizers will spice things up at the next Olympic games.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:43 am
Sat February 22, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat February 22, 2014 11:03 am

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:43 am
Sat February 22, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Sat February 22, 2014 11:03 am

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Pay As You Go, The Yippy Menace, and Dead Sexy.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:07 am
Sat February 15, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sun February 16, 2014 2:13 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players now have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL, ANNOUNCER: Kyrie O'Connor has the lead with four points. Brian Babylon and Maz Jobrani are tied for second, each has two.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:07 am
Sat February 15, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Sun February 16, 2014 2:13 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:07 am
Sat February 15, 2014

Prediction

Originally published on Sun February 16, 2014 2:13 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, panel, what will take out Matt Lauer from the hosts set? Brian Babylon?

BRIAN BABYLON, COMEDIAN: He gets horrible hair plugs that gave him bangs.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Kyrie O'Connor.

KYRIE O'CONNOR, WRITER: Ann Curry with a tire (unintelligible).

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: And Maz Jobrani.

(SOUNDBITE OF CHEERING)

MAZ JOBRANI, COMEDIAN: Given that the temperature is warm at the Olympics and Matt Lauer is cold as ice, he's just going to melt.

(LAUGHTER)

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
6:58 pm
Fri February 7, 2014

Prediction

Originally published on Sat February 8, 2014 11:17 am

Transcript

CARL KASELL: Now panel, how will we be wasting our time ten years from now? Tom Bodett.

TOM BODETT: Well, as the second term of President Chris Christie winds down Americans will be wasting a lot of time stalled in revenge traffic jams across the United States.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Roxanne Roberts.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: We'll still be trying to scrub all those drunken spring break pictures and slightly offensive jokes off all our Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram accounts.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
6:58 pm
Fri February 7, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat February 8, 2014 11:17 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Roxanne Roberts has the lead, Peter. She has four points. Tom Bodett and Paula Poundstone are tied for second. Each has two.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
6:58 pm
Fri February 7, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Sat February 8, 2014 11:17 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
5:13 pm
Fri January 31, 2014

Prediction

Originally published on Sat February 1, 2014 1:51 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now panel, what will be the big story out of the Sochi opening ceremonies? Mo Rocca.

MO ROCCA: The Iranian ice hockey team will enter the arena singing, It's Raining (unintelligible).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Faith Salie.

FAITH SALIE: Putin and Assad will appear in matching rainbow leotards and reveal through an interpretive ribbon dance that they carry a torch for each other.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And Tom Bodett.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
5:13 pm
Fri January 31, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat February 1, 2014 1:51 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tie for first place, Peter. Tom Bodett and Faith Salie both have three points. Mo Rocca has two.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
5:13 pm
Fri January 31, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Sat February 1, 2014 1:51 pm

Transcript

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
9:15 am
Sat January 25, 2014

Prediction

Originally published on Sat January 25, 2014 3:16 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now panel, what will be the big surprise at this year's State of the Union coming next week? Brian Babylon.

BRIAN BABYLON: Breaking news, Obamacare will now cover yoga pants.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: You'll be in seventh heaven. Jessi Klein.

JESSI KLEIN: Tired of adhering to laws and basic decency, Florida will finally secede.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And Mr. Hannibal Burress.

HANNIBAL BURRESS: Obama will say, this sucks. I'm going to just coast from here.

(LAUGHTER)

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
9:15 am
Sat January 25, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Mon January 27, 2014 2:07 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Jessi has the lead, Peter, with four points, Brian Babylon has two and Hannibal Burress has one.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
9:15 am
Sat January 25, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Sat January 25, 2014 3:16 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:33 am
Sat January 18, 2014

Prediction

Originally published on Sat January 18, 2014 11:02 am

Our panelists predict, what will A-Rod do now he's not playing baseball?

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:33 am
Sat January 18, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat January 18, 2014 11:02 am

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:33 am
Sat January 18, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Sat January 18, 2014 11:02 am

Carl reads three news-related limericks: Melting tennis players; beard benefits; what your cat thinks of you.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
5:30 pm
Fri January 10, 2014

Prediction

Originally published on Sat January 11, 2014 11:14 am

Transcript

CARL KASELL: Now panel, how will the mayor of Fort Lee exact revenge on Chris Christie? Adam Felber?

ADAM FELBER: It's simple. He'll just send him an extremely attractive realistic-looking ceramic brisket.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: I broke another tooth.

PETER SAGAL, HOST: Paula Poundstone.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Prior to engaging in a fun and friendly round of hide and seek, the mayor of Fort Lee will block the shipment of olive oil.

(LAUGHTER)

HOST: And Charlie Pierce.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
5:30 pm
Fri January 10, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat January 11, 2014 11:14 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST: Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tie for first place, Peter. Adam Felber and Charlie Pierce each has three points. Paula Poundstone has two.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
5:30 pm
Fri January 10, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Sat January 11, 2014 11:14 am

Transcript

CARL KASELL: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium and our upcoming shows at the University of Chicago January 30th and in Phoenix Arizona on February 13th. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
7:17 pm
Fri January 3, 2014

Not My Job: Jim Gaffigan Takes A Quiz On Gwyneth Paltrow

Mark Mainz Getty Images

Originally published on Sat January 4, 2014 11:52 am

This segment was originally broadcast on July 26, 2013.

Comedian and actor Jim Gaffigan lives happily with his wife and his five young children in a two-bedroom apartment in lower Manhattan. You read that right: Five kids. Two parents. Two bedrooms. His latest book, Dad Is Fat, reflects on the challenges and triumphs of raising a big family in a small space.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
7:17 pm
Fri January 3, 2014

Comedian Tig Notaro Plays Not My Job

Courtesy of Ruthie Wyatt

Originally published on Sat January 4, 2014 11:52 am

This segment was originally broadcast on July 19, 2013.

In 2012, comedian Louis C.K. tweeted: "In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo." The set C.K. was referring to was Notaro's performance the day she was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer. That set became "Tig Notaro: Live," which is now out now on iTunes.

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Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
7:17 pm
Fri January 3, 2014

Amy Sedaris Plays 'Not My Job'

Getty Images Getty Images

Originally published on Sat January 4, 2014 11:52 am

Originally broadcast Feb. 14, 2009.

Actress, comedian and writer Amy Sedaris plays our game called "Drinking this much will win me a Pulitzer Prize, or make not winning a lot easier to take." She answers three questions about the drinking habits of great authors taken from the book Hemingway and Bailey's Bartending Guide.

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:03 am
Sat December 28, 2013

Not My Job: Consultant James Carville Gets Quizzed On Couples

This segment was originally broadcast on Sept. 28, 2013.

James Carville is a Democratic political consultant, a TV pundit, and one half of the most famous mixed marriage in the country — his wife is Republican consultant Mary Matalin.

We've invited him to play a game called "You're like two peas in a pod!" Three questions about freakishly similar couples.

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