A Conservative, A Liberal, And A Moderate Walk Into A Bar... | KCUR

A Conservative, A Liberal, And A Moderate Walk Into A Bar...

Nov 6, 2012

Sometimes politicians are funny on purpose, and other times what politicians say in all seriousness is the greatest joke of all.

Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis in 'The Campaign' released by Warner Brothers Pictures.
Credit experiencefilm.com

On Wednesday's Central Standard we talk about the place of political humor in our local, regional, and national discourse with University of Missouri Political Scientist William T. Horner, and K.C. Improv comedian Adam Hoelschler.

Tell us the funniest thing you witnessed about any of this year's campaigns: political cartoon, skit, video, comedy routine, or anything else that made you laugh out loud by calling 816-235-2888 during the show or email us at centralstandard@kcur.org.

Here are some quotes from former heads of state, legislators, and candidates that might make you want to take your ballot back:

“'Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the Planet Earth.” --  Barack Obama

"I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that's the America millions of Americans believe in. That's the America I love." – Mitt Romney

''In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.''  — John Adams

“I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people”  – Dan Quayle.

"In a recent fire Bob Dole's library burned down. Both books were lost. And he hadn't even finished coloring one of them."  — Jack Kemp

“They don't call me Tyrannosaurus Sex for nothing."  —Ted Kennedy

"I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself."  – Ronald Reagan

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."  — Marion Berry

"A mere forty years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about."  — Newt Gingrich.

"If you don't mind smelling like peanut butter for two or three days, peanut butter is darn good shaving cream."  — Barry Goldwater.

''I just received the following wire from my generous Daddy: 'Dear Jack, Don't buy a single vote more than is necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide.'''  — John F. Kennedy

Adam Hoelscher is a local comic/improviser/instructor with the KC Improv Company, which performs every Saturday at the Kick Comedy Theatre in Westport, and at private events. He has been performing professionally for eight years, including national tours and corporate Improv Training.

William T. Horner received his Bachelor of Science undergraduate degree from Northwestern University in 1990, where he majored in Radio, Television and Film. He received a Master’s degree in Political Science from Arizona State University in 1994. He received his doctorate from the University of Texas at Austin in 1999. He has taught at the University of Missouri since January 2001. In 2008 and 2009, Horner was the recipient of the University of Missouri College of Arts and Science Purple Chalk Award for Excellence in Undergraduate Teaching. In 2010 he was the recipient of the University of Missouri Chancellor’s Excellence Award for Lifetime Achievement in Advising for his work with Pi Sigma Alpha, the political science department’s honors organization.